The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Online Manliness

By Karl_galster


1. Proclaim your manliness. How are all the weak men and
women going to know what an alpha male you are if you don’t
tell them? They need to know. Flex. If you tell them
that you are manly they will believe you and are unlikely
to question you or believe that you are compensating for
anything.

2. Declare that other men aren’t manly. The people have
to know that other men aren’t manly, otherwise your
manliness doesn’t mean anything. Flex on them. Change
around the names of other men to make them sound feminine.
Example: a man named Lou should be referred to as ‘Sue.’
Refer to other men as women. People will think that you’re
manly by comparison and won’t question your heterosexuality
at all.

3. Post proof of your manliness. Most of the time simply
declaring that you are manly and that other men are not
manly will suffice, but there will be skeptics so win them
over by showing the goods. This could mean a number of
things. You could post pictures of that monstrous 8’ swell
that you endured back in the great storm of ‘98, or you
might just go full manly and post those nude pics of
yourself in the mirror with your cock out. Don’t worry;
nobody will think that you are overreaching or compensating
for a weak self-image.

4. Netrage on other, lesser, men. You have to put them in
their place and show that your place is manly by
comparison. An example of netrage may look something like
this:

ENGLISH YOU STUPID FRENCH FUCK!!!
SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH you poutine sucking, chickenshit, frog, woman stalking, white nigger queer.
If you can't manage to speak it then put your god damned pepsi down beside your gay masochistic porn and find an online translator.
Or make some sick photo shop about some innocent woman, cowardly woman stalking frog piece of shit.

Be sure to use a lot of expletives stringed together such
as, “cowardly poutine white nigger queer fag doo-doo
head.” That’ll show ‘em how manly you are!

5. Never mention your homosexual past. This is the most
important point about appearing manly in front of your
online peers. Unfortunately most people still don’t view
homosexual sex as manly. Do not admit to gay sex on every
“fishing trip” that you take. In fact, don’t mention even
one of them. If you were thrown out of, for example, a
Canadian paratrooper division for raping the commander‘s
grown son, don’t tell anyone. They won’t think that it is
manly. Besides, you were just getting revenge for that
time that you got raped in boot camp. Just keep all that
stuff to yourself and focus on points 1-4 and you’ll be as
manly as Karl_galster. Well, almost as manly. *wink*

Funny.


However, do you think your book will work for deviants' cases,
which I will leave anonymous out of obvious privacy concerns:

- England-hating trannies who fled to south of Spain?
- Crossdressing brothers of more-patriotic-than-thou quilters?


If so, do you deliver overseas?
It's to send presents in time for Christmas to those concerned.

jeanv wrote:



- Crossdressing brothers of more-patriotic-than-thou quilters?


.

Jean, you had to go and spoil it by mentioning the "Q" word.

Liberal3801 wrote:

['q=jeanv]- Crossdressing brothers of more-patriotic-than-thou quilters?['/q]

Jean, you had to go and spoil it by mentioning the "Q" word.

I'm non-plussed by your remark, dear Lib1234.

There are surely thousands of quilters with crossdressing relatives in the large allied country I was thinking of.

If you want peoples to consider you manly, the best way is to choose a picture of a well known man considered as manly by the majority of the world, in order to take advantage of its manliness.


Clint Eastwood, for example...

You are a boy in a mans world blissy.
It is rather hilarious watching you make a fool of yourself.

LoL

parigot wrote:

If you want peoples to consider you manly, the best way is to choose a picture of a well known man considered as manly by the majority of the world, in order to take advantage of its manliness.


Clint Eastwood, for example...

Choosing a manly avatar is a definite first step, compensation kinda thing right?

Those, like Karl, who never stop talking about manliness are not so confident in fact!

Choosing a manly avatar is a definite first step, compensation kinda thing right?

That's why I chose a francis bacon painting for my latest avatar

Any male with the name of "francis" who shows his face in public has already proved his manliness against the schoolyard taunts of the world

Fredmasse wrote:

Those, like Karl, who never stop talking about manliness are not so confident in fact!

Give yer head a shake frenchie.

This is what I get after all the work I've done for you in your cat thread?

Fearless_Leader wrote:

Choosing a manly avatar is a definite first step, compensation kinda thing right?

That's why I chose a francis bacon painting for my latest avatar

Any male with the name of "francis" who shows his face in public has already proved his manliness against the schoolyard taunts of the world

it's the bacon that makes "im ard" not the "francis"

At the core of karla's aggressive anti-male tardness is an inherent fear of sinking to the bottom of the sea. It's a cold and dark place where seals feast upon flesh and bones.

karla clubs adorable seal pups because he's insane, people.

starspangled wrote:



karla clubs adorable seal pups because he's insane, people.

I don't club seal pups choirboy lover, I shoot them.

I don't club seal pups ... I shoot them.

Is shooting manlier than clubbing?

starspangled wrote:


Is shooting manlier than clubbing?

Oh ya for sure star!

British Sea Power › Fear Of Drowning

...

The only way is down
And you know from way out here
There is a little fear
A little old fear of drowning
A little old fear of drowning
A little old fear of drowning

www.lyricsfreak.com . . .

Read this Article if You Have a Fear of Drowning

One of the Biggest Fears appears to be the fear of drowning. Unfortunately when Hurricanes Strike more people die of drowning than from the wind itself or something falling on them. The fear of drowning appears to be universal to all humans. People do not want to drown to death. The fear of drowning comes almost as high as the fear of being burned to death from the actual flames. Generally in structure fires folks die from smoke inhalation well before they actually burn.

More people in natural disasters die from drowning than any other way. Even Earthquakes often take out dams and the water rushes in drowning victims who other wise would have made out okay. Needless to say drowning to death is a very common fear and one that you are not alone in having. Many of people worst bad dreams are said to be drowning nightmares. Even people who are good swimmers are afraid of drowning. It is a highly innate human fear indeed.

The fear of drowning is one fear, which is okay, because it is such a natural fear. In fact the US Navy Seal Teams spend a lot of time training to overcome the fear of drowning and those who cannot pass are expelled from the competition to become Navy Seal Team Members. If you fear drowning the most important thing is to know where this fear comes from if you wish to overcome it. Think on this.

ezinearticles.com . . .

No need to go there star, I already apologized for making you cry in that nasty thread.

The manly thing to do would be to accept the apology and let it go.

LoL

No need to go there

To the bottom of the sea with the seals?

Can you explain your avatar Starspanker ?

Can you explain your avatar Starspanker ?

What avatar? It's a virtual mirror, silly frog.

parigot wrote:

If you want peoples to consider you manly, the best way is to choose a picture of a well known man considered as manly by the majority of the world, in order to take advantage of its manliness.


Clint Eastwood, for example...

No, no parigot. Let me help you. You have to state your manliness as a matter of fact. It isn't enough to have a manly avatar; you have to verbalize your manliness.

Karl_galster wrote:

You are a boy in a mans world blissy.

Excellent demonstration of your second point, Karl! Of course, that "man's world" of which you speak is your world, right? DECLARE YOUR MANLINESS!

BlitzGaulAgain wrote:

Of course, that "man's world" of which you speak is your world, right?

Not at all blissy, it's just that it isn't yours.

Not yet anyway, give it a few years and then maybe.

Maybe.

I have to say this thread isn't quite as gay as your two earlier ones but you are still tilting the scales into gay territory.

LoL

A real man should salute BTW!

I am sure Karl is not the man to be afraid of that...

Karl_galster wrote:

Of course, that "man's world" of which you speak is your world, right?

Not at all blissy, it's just that it isn't yours.

So, if you aren't a man in a man's world you must be a man in a boy's world.

That sounds kind of pedo, Karl.

Do you want to clarify?

BlitzGaulAgain wrote:


Do you want to clarify?

No you have pretty much clarified your status on this earth to every one here little lady.

LoL